Understand Your Personality to Understand Others

This post is labeled under Personal Development

From years of working and dealing with friends, I often get frustrated when people fall under my expectations. Some needed few instructions; others needed detailed tasks to get things done.

After reading the book of Florence Littauer’s Personality Plus, I have learned how to approach different people and appreciate more of their strengths. Have you ever wonder what are the best ways to deal even on difficult people?

People can be categorized into four main groups (or combination of these groups). Let us look at them closely.

Courtesy of Randomnista.wordpress.com

Sanguine: The Life of the Party

The type of person who every body wants every time there is a gathering of sort. He/she effortlessly cracks joke. This person enjoys center stage and people’s attention becomes his/her adrenalin. He/she talks too much and people love it. You will never experience dull moments when sanguine person is around.

You can sense if your friend belongs to this group if he/she likes wearing colorful clothes, cheerful and has good disposition about life. Sanguine people gets easily upset (and they show it) but never holds grudges for a long time.

I have a friend who was very upset when we are about to attend a party. While inside the car, she pours her heart out (in tears) about the heartache a guy caused her. I made some advices and was wondering if attending a party is a good idea after all the sadness she feels. The moment she steps out of the car and meets her friends, she was giggling and jumping with fun as the party starts: a typical sanguine personality.

Melancholy: The Perfectionist

This person plans perfectly. To upset this guy, all you need is a chaotic situation to distract him/her. Deep thinker, thoughtful, artistic, sets high-standard are few of the qualities of the person. You will never experience injustice with this person because of deep concern on other’s people feeling.

Melancholy persons wear neat and tidy clothes. They are perfect to be best-friends because they are faithful and devoted but very selective on people whom they like to be with.

Gap ensued when I failed to greet a best friend on her birthday. I remembered that I greeted her many times on that day but still felt upset for almost a week. She was not talking to me. Upon checking with her, she was upset because she was expecting that I will be the first person to greet/call on her birthday. She was expecting that I would call her exactly 12:00AM the day of her birthday: a perfect time for a perfect moment.

Choleric: The Born Leader

I had a chance working with a German boss on a telecom company. He seldom smiles, a man with few words. He is assertive and enjoys witty conversation with anyone who challenges his decisions. He points out clearly that he is right and you need to follow him.

Powerful choleric is a doer of actions. Give him/her puzzles or anything difficult, he/she will gladly thank you and provide you with solutions immediately.

Choleric person shakes insecure people. Anyone who does not see his/her way is considered “dummy”. This guy tends to look down on people who can’t follow instructions.

You will never expect a choleric person to be around on sick people longer because weak irritates him/her. As long as you follow the choleric person’s lead, you are a powerful ally.

Phlegmatic: The Peaceful Negotiator

Though you seldom sense excitement with them, they are fun to be with because phlegmatics are easy-going and relaxed persons. They tried to avoid conflicts and happily reconciled to life.

This type is good as a negotiator. Most of them are not easily agitated that is why they handle conflicts smoothly. They prefer to be on the sidelines and keep a low-key personality.

You can easily earn their trust. But once they sense you betrayed them, it is hard to regain the confidence they had invested on you before. Once they give up, you can never change their mind.

My mother is often the choleric type. Every time my mother and father have marital fights, mom, guns blazing, uses all the big words to blow you into pieces. Dad, a phlegmatic type, never answers back and just listens intently to mom’s litany of woes. Mom feels frustrated because dad fails to show emotions as if no concern at all. When the dusts settle down, that’s time dad explains his sides.

It is a fun rollercoaster ride whenever I see these 4 types of persons collide during conversations. Sometimes, I never utter a word but still had fun observing them knowing the predictability of their emotions.

But how do you effectively talk with all these type of persons and how do you handle their temperaments? Expect answers on the next issue.